He’s Angry…

And I don’t blame him, even if he is taking it out on me.

Last month we talked to our lawn mowing doods about them weeding the  back yard, also. They are going to do it every time the come to mow. We’ve been good customers, have been for 10 years. We’ve given them extra money when he had health problems with no health insurance. We’ve always been generous with our Christmas bonus. So, they gave us a really great price & Papa doesn’t have to try to bend over and weed with a back and knees that do more grinding than anything else.

I’ve noticed that the pool is not as kept up this year as it has been in years past. There are leaves and weeds in the pool now, that typically would have been picked up by now. In the Summer, the sides of the pool were not scrubbed with the pool scrubber that we have. Consequently, I talked to my friend whose husband is in the business and cleans and maintains pools for a living as a pool technician. He’s very good. He’s very honest and I’m convinced that there’s no one better in the business.

Before I told Papa about the Pool Tech, I arranged everything, including the time in which he’d come by for an initial consultation. I told him today. I expected him to be angry, which is why I completely arranged it before I told him. Had I done it the other way around, he would have surely nixed the whole idea.

He’s not angry because I set this up before I talked to him. He’s not angry because this will be another money expense. He’s angry because his body is wearing out and there’s nothing he can do about it.

Earlier this fall, His flight to MI and back was very hard on him, physically. He couldn’t walk down to the gates because of his hips and his knees, so he had to have a cart take him to and fro… I’m sure that was very embarrassing for him. He wanted to go to a museum that was a short walk from the hotel where he and Dad were staying & he couldn’t do it, his back and hips just gave out. Yet another indignity.

I knew that this was going to have to do this eventually, sooner rather than later. After all, he’s going to be 80 here on January 28th. He’s been making comments about slowing down to a lower gear and not being able to do as much as he had, even in the last year. It makes me very sad, though, because he’s a proud man. He’s a good man, he doesn’t deserve his body betraying him in such a way. After all, the abuse that he’s put his body through was a direct result of him being a good man, wanting to take care of his family by any means possible, which included Rail Road work (placing ties) & Construction (laying Asphalt) just to name a few.

So, starting on Saturday we will have a Pool Tech to make sure that our pool is nice and squeaky clean. I know this man will do a good job. He’s one of the few people now a days that actually believes that his worth is represented in the quality of work he does.

Papa has 1 day to get over being angry. I think that he is already. After dinner (Pizza Hut – they owed us for bad pizza last time), he started relaxing and being more of himself. Well, before that he had to fix both cars. One wouldn’t start and one has the Engine light on. He determined that it’s clogged injector and he was thrilled to tell me what an injector was and show me where it was located in the car. He will take the car in on Monday.

He still has a lot of value and is still the only one I want to have in the house. I love him so much. I enjoy learning from him and hearing what he has to say. I love his old stories and try to listen and remember them as he’s told them. I hope he knows that. I tell him I love him every night, and I truly mean it. I try to never get angry with him or leave with angry words… that lesson I learned when Nana passed. I will always want a possible last memory of him to be one of love, not anger.

When he’s gone, I will be completely and utterly lost. But, there are many, many years before that will happen. He’s healthy, happy & wants those years too… that always helps.

Peace to you all. I wish you nothing but joy, happiness & love through out 2010, not just in the beginning or the holidays, but all of the moments of the year…


© ‘Fizz’ 2009


About Fizz

*I'm a Northern Girl livin' in the South. *I graduated with a BS in Geophysics from Michigan Technological University (MTU). *I have critters: 2 dogs & 1 cat. *I love thunder and rain days. Too much sunshine gets on my nerves. (How I survive in Texas I do not know!) *I'm trying to remove swearing from my vocabulary (Good Luck!). *I'm the last single in my group of friends. The rest of the turn coats got married. *Sadly, the above friends are now procreating. Now the world will have yet more strange and twisted individuals that will have to go to an Engineering School to survive. *Yoopers do exist. Look on a map. *Marvin the Martian and I have a lot in common. We're both cranky when crossed and generally like our own way. *I will never be a model! (Thank god, that starvation stuff has GOT to be painful!!!). *I am not Fat! (Even though that little voice behind my right ear might tell me that every single day). *I am normal. Whatever that means! *Yes, you can be smart and not be a geek. *I've been told I'm not boring. We'll see. *Much to my irritation, I have been described as Eccentric. *I cannot spell! *Being Single is a frame of mind. *Who said life was fair?
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9 Responses to He’s Angry…

  1. Joe says:

    I hate the things like that which rob folks of the dignity they deserve. My grandparents all went through it. I don’t relate my love to them for the things they can or could do more I loved them for who they were…I don’t doubt your dad knows your heart Juli. Blessings to you my friend, Happy New Year.


  2. Babblelot says:

    Such love and understanding emminates from your post. It makes my heart smile. It is good to know the younger folks will carry on with love and common sense and all the good stuff. Big hugs sweety and caring for Papa like that is truly wonderful. Can I live with you when I git old? *smile*


  3. Terry says:

    Fizz I understand completely. When Dad’s body started the weakening etc. it was very hard to see him that way. Dad was always the one to take care of the things. Always did things himself and it gets to them when they can no longer do it. It breaks you heart to see it. Making it as easy and loving as you are is the best you can do for them. Hugs for you and for Papa.


  4. Beth says:

    Juli, you are such a sweet, loving and compassionate young lady. I just felt good reading this post. I know how your Papa feels. My body tells me every day that it is growing older. Enjoy the years you spend together.Hugs,Beth


  5. Dana says:

    It seems that men judge who they are by what they do. It’s so hard on a man to not be able to do anything, especially when the mind is so sharp but the body is not willing. You’ll have to break some small fix-it’s. I once bent something in the toaster so it wouldn’t spring and brought it to my grandad to fix it just to make him feel useful. Even ask him questions on how to do stuff I already knew. (You might even ask the pool guy to have him help him do something light) One thing about an old dog is that they can teach the young some new tricks!


  6. ♬ŠŨŇ says:

    Your so wonderful, thank you for sharing your feelings with us. That post brought tears to my eyes.Yes it is hard to watch the people we love get so anoyed with themself. My mum would never admit she needed to slow down, so I can understand. You are so right, savour all the things you can do together. Have plenty of laughs for a long time to come. Oh, good luck with the pool. Take care.


  7. CAROL says:

    Know all too well where you are coming from J and how very hard it is to watch someone you love get older and lose the things they love the most. If only our bodies could last as long as our minds want them to. Hope everything works out okay. I can’t even imagine pools right now the air is so frigid here.. I am ready for the heat and a cyber trip to get there.. Hope Spaces co-operates with me though.. Take care kiddo and HAPPY NEW YEAR.. :>)


  8. Charlotte M Simonsen says:

    Understand how he must feel, it is always hard to see our loved ones not able to do what they wish to do. hugs to all of you…. lottemae


  9. Rambling says:

    I sure know how you feel. All of us have to watch our parents become physically less than the Superman or woman we knew them to be. That makes us sad and it makes our parents or grandparents sad too because aside from feeling badly etc they are aware they are making us sad. That makes them more aware of their frailities. The love you show him, and that you always and ever say you love him..that alone makes life a joy for him. You are a joy to your Papa. That makes me glad all the way here in Tennessee. (((HUGS)))


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