I have been working really, really hard at not being bitter. It’s a real challenge. I know that I just have to keep truckin’ along. I make it a point to connect with the inner me, the kind hearted soul, when ever I look at my St. Michaels medallion hanging from my monitor.
There is a real danger in becoming bitter because the only one it effects is me. Supervisor doesn’t care that I am bitter. In fact, he may really be glad to see it. It means that I’m conquered.
Papa has been a huge help. I had apologized for my little faux pas in an email on Friday, and this is the little gem of a reply I received yesterday morning:
“FYI, if you are apologizing for an incident that occurred in person, then I expect the apology to be in person.”
Papa told me that I already apologized in an email and that I don’t have to get on my knees and kiss his boots. I could have kissed him full on the lips for that… as a matter of fact, I did!! It’s helped me get out of the Victim mentality.
Yesterday I forced myself to go to lunch at the steak house. I went by myself. I forced myself to eat a good 3/4 of my food… Steak, Salad, Broccoli (my favorite). I started feeling better about mid-afternoon. I think the food is helping to get those anxiety toxin’s out of my system. I am feeling better today. Not a lot, but enough to make me feel I’m on the right track.
So.. in the words of Doc & his professional opinion… don’t do that! Ms. Shelley… I’ll come back… just find me a job and have them pay to move me and I’m back in the mitten where I belong. These southerners… they’re too cold for me. It seems like they all lack compassion, as tho butter wouldn’t melt in their mouth. Each and every one of you": Toodie, Terry, Penny, Ducky, JoAnn, Teri, Sherry, Rambling, Aimie (no… we’ve not connected on Facebook yet!!), Nanci… you are all the greatest gift… thank you for just being you!!
All of your advice… just wonderful stuff. You guys don’t know how much better you’ve made me feel. You’ve been a real shining star.
So I am off to do good things and get stuff done… Much love to you all and much love to me… I feel a little ray of happiness.
Fizz
© Fizz 2009
Michigan Dreaming --> Texas Tortured 
BIG HUGS!!!
LikeLike
Hoping by tomorrow that ray of happiness is much bigger. I’m with you on the broccoli – love the stuff! Remember to look after #1 first – that’s you! Love, hugs and prayers being sent your way.
LikeLike
Hang in their Fizz! Don’t let the turkeys get you down. (Actually I could use that advice myself!. LOL)
LikeLike
You have to put YOU first and I agree with others you will be happier when you do. The MItten state welcomes you dear Juli.. with open arms! : )
LikeLike
Juli, I know what you are going through. I had an a$$ for a boss in my last job at the AFB. A major who thought that he was above everyone and was sure his k*k* didn’t stink. Hopefully things will get better for you. I wish you could correspond with my nephew. He is handicapped and can’t speak but he is brilliant and graduated in the top percent of of his class in law school. He works for the state as an atty.Hang in there dear, we are all pulling for you.
LikeLike
Darlin, I thought about what I typed and sometimes I come across as sharp. My sis calls it throwing tongue daggers. I’m sorry if that is how you took it. I just think you deserve to be happy. And money isn’t going to make that happen only you can do that. So get the resume updated and hit the pavement. You may be missing the signs that your dream job is just outside that door. Sending love, prayers and strength to you today and always.xoxoxo
LikeLike
Sister – I hope you have a most wonderful day!!God blessTeri
LikeLike
Sherry said it all. You are your number 1 priority. Hugs. Terry
LikeLike
You sound much better today and I’m happy for that. I’m glad you went to lunch, getting out among people is a good thing. Just take it one day at a time Fizz and you’ll make it. Put yourself first, you’re worth it you know. Holding on to the bitterness does only effect you which still gives the other one power over you and you don’t want that. So hang in there and know we are here for you. HugsSherry
LikeLike