I have been working really, really hard at not being bitter. It’s a real challenge. I know that I just have to keep truckin’ along. I make it a point to connect with the inner me, the kind hearted soul, when ever I look at my St. Michaels medallion hanging from my monitor.
There is a real danger in becoming bitter because the only one it effects is me. Supervisor doesn’t care that I am bitter. In fact, he may really be glad to see it. It means that I’m conquered.
Papa has been a huge help. I had apologized for my little faux pas in an email on Friday, and this is the little gem of a reply I received yesterday morning:
“FYI, if you are apologizing for an incident that occurred in person, then I expect the apology to be in person.”
Papa told me that I already apologized in an email and that I don’t have to get on my knees and kiss his boots. I could have kissed him full on the lips for that… as a matter of fact, I did!! It’s helped me get out of the Victim mentality.
Yesterday I forced myself to go to lunch at the steak house. I went by myself. I forced myself to eat a good 3/4 of my food… Steak, Salad, Broccoli (my favorite). I started feeling better about mid-afternoon. I think the food is helping to get those anxiety toxin’s out of my system. I am feeling better today. Not a lot, but enough to make me feel I’m on the right track.
So.. in the words of Doc & his professional opinion… don’t do that! Ms. Shelley… I’ll come back… just find me a job and have them pay to move me and I’m back in the mitten where I belong. These southerners… they’re too cold for me. It seems like they all lack compassion, as tho butter wouldn’t melt in their mouth. Each and every one of you": Toodie, Terry, Penny, Ducky, JoAnn, Teri, Sherry, Rambling, Aimie (no… we’ve not connected on Facebook yet!!), Nanci… you are all the greatest gift… thank you for just being you!!
All of your advice… just wonderful stuff. You guys don’t know how much better you’ve made me feel. You’ve been a real shining star.
So I am off to do good things and get stuff done… Much love to you all and much love to me… I feel a little ray of happiness.
© Fizz 2009